Just the other night, I had a conversation with a friend about race. Obviously, we shared a difference in opinion because the conversation became pretty heated. So, I wanted to share my opinion and solicit a little feedback. I realize that race is one of those subjects that automatically ruffles people's feathers. (especially me) But, considering the situation, I had discuss it.
Here's the situation. I have a Caucasian neighbor that has recently befriended me. On a few times that my friend visited my home, my neighbor stopped by. But, let me give you the back story on the neighbor. She's was raised in the south and admits that her family has many prejudice traits. The times that she's visited, she's exposed a few facts.
1. Her last boyfriend was Caucasian and despises African American. She ever agreed with his beliefs but continued the relationship anyway.
2. She's dated 2 African Americans in the past few months.
3. When she lived in the south, dated another African American that she fell in love with. But, she ended the relationship due to his race.
4. She believes that African Americans receive certain exceptions just because they are African American. For example, she stated that Caucasians could never have a website like blackpeoplemeet.com because of the racial undertone.
My approach to my neighbor's racial issues was to simply ignore it and change the subject. Besides, when you entertain a racial conversation between people of different races, it can potentially get ugly. Well, the subject-changing worked and we all enjoyed the evening.
But, a couple days afterward, I get a call from my friend, expressing her discomfort with my neighbor's racial comments and views. She disagreed with the fact that my neighbor chose to befriend me (being that I'm African American) knowing that she previously dated a prejudice man. In her eyes, it's almost like she's being fake or offering a conditional friendship (I'll hang about Tara as long as he's not around). She was upset that her family may not accept the new friendship with my neighbor because of the color of my skin. She couldn't fathom why my neighbor would bring up the subject of race in front of two African American women. She questioned her logic in dating African American men being that she had so many racial beliefs and issues.
Once again, I tried to downplay the situation--change the subject--ignore it. But, she wasn't letting that happen. She couldn't understand how I could be so nonchalant about race. She expressed that she'd lived in the south herself and experienced prejudice firsthand. I, on the other hand, have not. I don't have a pessimistic view on other races. I've never experienced prejudice from other races. I have, however, experienced prejudice within my own race. I can see it like it happened yesterday. I attended elementary school in East St. Louis, IL and was probably the palest African American in the school. They tormented me because of it. Even through high school, I remember being ridiculed because of my skin tone--being the object of the "light-skinned girl" assumptions. She thinks she's all that. She's a hoe. She acts like she's better than me. It's ridiculous! Now, I'm not saying that I grew to dislike my own race. But, I will say that I pay close attention to how we act. I don't surround myself with ignorant people in general. That can be a African American person, a Caucasion, anyone. It doesn't matter.
Now, I'm not sure what to do about my neighbor or what I need to do about my offended friend. But, I will say that I'm pretty stern on my beliefs. I choose to keep the peace and talk about something else because WHO GIVES A CRAP what color your skin is or what your culture is or who you hang out with or who you sleep with!!!! And it might be because I've never experienced prejudice outside my race. Maybe if I had the experience of living during the Civil Rights movement, my views might differ. But, we are in a different day and age.
